The Night Before Mass Effect 3
by Kyle Evora
'Twas the night before the reapers came, and all through the land,
the people wanted Shepard back in command.
The rifles were strapped to their holsters with care,
while thinking of gunshots flying through the air.
The husks were skewered all snug on their spikes,
with visions of devouring cute human tykes.
Garrus in his turtle shell, and Joker in his cap,
Had hustled poor James in poker, the poor noobie sap.
When down on Earth there arose such a clatter,
Shepard leapt into action to put an end to the matter.
Down to the Normandy he ran oh so very fast,
and thought of the decisions he had made in the past.
The moon was one of the first places to go,
and the civilians could do little but cry "where'd it go?"
When, what do my wondering eyes should appear,
but a big badass Krogan drinking a couple of beers.
With a giant shotgun, so powerful yet quick,
I knew in a moment Wrex had asses to kick.
More rapid than the Ascension the Normandy came,
And Shepard whistled, and shouted, and called his crews' names!
"Now Garrus! Now Liara! Now Tali and Wrex!
On James! On Mordin! Don't be so complex!
Onward we march, 'til the Reapers do fall!
I know that there's more, but I can't list you all!"
As scraps of metal from Geth corpses did fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, the blew it sky high.
So down to the different planets they flew,
With guns filled with bullets, and Shepard's gang too.
But then, around midnight, I heard through the door
Ten to twelve husks, no wait, maybe more!
I loaded my omni-tool and tried to call help,
but I fumbled and stumbled and let out a yelp.
But then there he was, Shepard, the man in command,
with no worry on his face and a gun in his hand.
A bundle of guns he had flung on his back,
and he shot down the husks with a "clack-clack-clack-clack"
His shots how they pierced! His hands how they crush!
His biotic charge was thunder, and they fear his adrenaline rush!
His M-920 Cain was as big as a pup,
and the sound of it heating shut the husks the fuck up.
The stumps of the husks were all that remained,
and the smoke that came forth smelled of blood, tears and pain.
Shepard's face was so serious, not like that of a kid's,
and he didn't quite look like he does on the vids.
He was strong and inspiring, the picture of health,
Yet I trembled when I met him, I thought I'd shit myself.
But when he walked up to me and checked on my head,
I thanked him so much for not leaving me dead.
He spoke not a word, but went straight back to work,
sniping some more husks 'fore he turned with a jerk.
And placing commands into his omni-tool,
He boarded the Normandy, which looked pretty cool.
He sprang up to his ship, gave his team a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
As he flew off Shepard said with a yell,
"This is my favorite store on the Citadel."